So, a few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to go to four concerts in a row. Granted, three of the four were for the same artist, but that’s neither here nor there for the point I’m trying to make. The point is that all four nights we had talkers all around us. I’m both annoyed and baffled by them. But mostly just annoyed.
The thing of it is, there you are at a show, right? Picture it: You’ve just sat down at your seat with your overpriced drink (and who knows, maybe it’s already your third overpriced drink, who am I to judge?). At this point you’ve paid for your ticket, most likely paid for those god forsaken “service” fees which practically double the price of said damn ticket, sat in traffic while trying to get to the venue, and then paid to park. But you’re good. You’re happy this band you’ve come to see is taking the stage. You’re up and clapping. You’re cheering. You get the picture. The show starts and somewhere around you—maybe it’s the guy behind you, or the obnoxious girl next to you-- starts loudly telling their friend about their last visit to the foot doctor because they’d been having trouble walking the past couple of weeks (this was the actual conversation I overheard at one of the aforementioned shows) and you silently think, Lord, please let them shut up soon because it’s going to get old fast. But no, the Lord is not with you today. They continue, and loudly. There are those that are gifted with the ability to block out or ignore. I am not such a person though I wish desperately that I were. You turn and give them the look. You know the look; it says I hear you and it’d be better if I didn’t. But they pretend not to see you and keep on with their stupid-ass story about their feet. So you try to ignore it but they really are ridiculously loud, so you look again, this time it says, "Seriously?", and they look back with the “what is your problem?” stare.
Sometimes all the looking and staring works and they shut up but most often, it doesn’t. Sometimes you get that a-hole that says, “Hey, it’s a concert!” to which you may respond (either out loud or just in your head) No shit Sherlock, which is exactly why you should shut your trap and listen to the music, not to mention letting those around you listen without your commentary.
You see, this past experience I speak of, they weren’t just talkers, they were shouters. If you’ve not experienced them, consider yourself lucky. If you have, then you know how annoying it can in fact be. They shout as though the music is getting in the way of their conversation. You want to ask “Is the music too loud? Should we ask them to turn it down so that you don’t have to shout over them?”
Why, I wonder, couldn’t this asinine conversation have taken place in the car on the way here? Or in the lobby before the show started? Or even after the show, say, on your way home? I just baffled by it and it really drives me insane, as you can see.
I mean, I get it, it is a concert and a social situation, but at the end of the day, didn’t you pay all that money so that you could enjoy the band you went to see? Why spend so much to have a conversation you can have for free anywhere, anytime? I ask you, what is so hard about just listening? Or, if you really can’t help yourself, what’s difficult about leaning into the person you’re with and whispering in their ear?
I’m not necessarily a violent person… ok, yes I’ve had the urge to punch a person or two in the face from time to time but I’ve never actually acted on it, so I maintain that I am not violent. But I do sometimes think it would be awesome if at concerts, people who talked or shouted over a certain decibel got shocked into silence. You know, like a little electric shock. Not enough to cause permanent damage of course, just enough to sit 'em down for a minute or two and deter them from doing it again. It’s just an errant thought that from time to time brings a small smile to my face. If this makes me evil, so be it. I just can't help myself.
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